Is Michele Bachmann a Lean Mean Gaffing Machine?


Image via Gawker

I was starting to develop a tepid sense of compassion for Michele Bachmann. I really was. In a cohort of airheads and unfailingly amoral Republican candidates, Bachmann was starting to look like a mentally sound person, whatever that looks like. Not only did this woman actually attend and acquire impressive degrees at legitimate institutions of higher education, but she has also done her time in the House of Reps, and worked as an attorney for the IRS, all the while serving as a foster parent to 23 girls suffering from eating disorders. If that wasn’t enough to make you not dislike her then chew on this: she also happened to grow up in a family of Democrats. My desire to like the congresswoman only grew when Colonel Turd Magnet and part-time Fox News host Chris Wallace asked Bachmann in an unwarranted assertion if she was a “flake” on last weeks episode of “Fox News Sunday”.

So you could image my sense of despondency when Bachmann appeared on “Good Morning America” this morning (I’ve been a sucker for the morning program since the days of Joan London and Charlie Gibson, so sue me!) and quickly proceeded to become lodged and entangled in a complex web of her own logical fallacies. When George Stephanopoulos provided Bachmann the opportunity to clear the air on a past gaffe in which she stated that one of the core principals of our founding fathers was to end the institution of slavery, Bachmann took advantage of the free publicity via media air time to spin another convoluted web of flawed substance:

Bachmann: Well if you look at one of our Founding Fathers, John Quincy Adams, that’s absolutely true. He was a very young boy when he was with his father serving essentially as his father’s secretary. He tirelessly worked throughout his life to make sure that we did in fact one day eradicate slavery…

Seeing as how John Quincy Adams was only 8 years old when the Revolutionary War started, it is truly remarkable that he had such a strong presence in the making of this great nation!

This isn’t the first time Bachmann has been accused of committing an awkward gaffe. In fact, according to the Pulitzer-Prize winning fact-checking service, Politifact.com, an analysis of 24 statements that have come out of the well glossed mouth of the congresswoman, concluded that 23 of those statements landed in indubitably false territory. Even I, who was never good at math can tell you that’s an alarmingly high percentage.

I wonder what will go down in history as the greatest Bachmann gaffe of all time? My guess is the time she told the people of her hometown Waterloo, Iowa that she was like gay serial rapist clown killer, John Wayne in spirit and attitude. Wait, What?!? Not quite. The John Wayne Bachmann actually meant this approbation for was the beloved movie star who was not from Waterloo, but from Winterset, Iowa. The John Wayne who was indeed from Waterloo, Iowa, was John Wayne Gacy, also known as the “killer clown” who was convicted of 33 counts of murder and sexual assault of young boys in the 1970′s. Woops!

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